Referring to - 42

Chapter 42

If you talk about domestic commercial film directors, even if Director Dao Zhongping was not in the top three, there were always the top five.

In addition, Zhan Yun was a war movie with a large investment. If the originally chosen actor had not been injured just before entering the group and could not join the cast, even if Chen Yunyun had the connections, it would have been very difficult for a so-called ‘currently popular young actor’ like Lin Zixi to get the role of the third male in this movie—the director himself was the box office guarantee, so it was unnecessary to rely on traffic stars to exploit fans.

Therefore, Lin Zixi gave his all from the moment he flew to the filming location and entered the group with his assistant Xiao Zhang. During his time in the crew, he listened and obeyed Director Dao’s guidance wholeheartedly, and he performed every scene without any complaint until the director was completely satisfied, no matter how many times he had to repeat it. He also observed and emulated the filming of other actors, trying hard to pick up some acting skills and knowledge from these big names of the strength faction.

It had been six years since young actor Lin was admitted to the film academy, stepped into the entertainment circle with one foot, and began to rise. But this was the first time he experienced the charm of his profession as an actor and felt happiness from acting and seeing the soul that belonged to his character materialize from his own portrayal.

Lin Zixi gradually changed, from relying solely on Director Dao’s guidance to act when he first entered the crew to slowly gaining his own understanding of the script and the characters. Until finally, he was already able to add detailed performances by himself to enrich the image of the character.

Although, his amazing action of gunspinning and changing clips were copied from his dad.

Lin Zixi lived a rich and busy life for more than a month. Every day, he returned very late at night to the hotel where the cast and crew were staying. After taking a quick shower, he would lie on the bed exhausted and fall asleep right away. The next day, he got up early in the morning and went to the set.

Not only did he shed all the flesh he had grown during his two months of recuperation, but he was also five catties less than his previous weight. Even his skin, which was exaggerated by his fans as ‘snow lotus on the iceberg’, was actually tanned a shade darker by the winter sun.

But his great efforts paid off.

When Lin Zixi's role was finished and he was about to leave the Zhan Yun cast and crew, not only was Director Dao full of admiration and favor for him, even the movie emperor/empress-level actors and actresses starring in this movie also showed their hopes to work with him again.

After all, it was a junior who was good-looking, good-natured, not finicky, willing to work hard, and really making progress, as well as bringing his own traffic, topics, and fans. If it were you, you would like him too.

At this time, there was still a week before Lin Zixi's next TV series started filming. During this week, Chen Yunyun also gave him a job of doing an exclusive interview and a photo shoot of the cover and inside pages with a fashion magazine.

This job was to be carried out in B City in three days, but Lin Zixi did not want to return to his home country for a while.

He had been staying with the crew when he went abroad this time and had not even taken a glance at the scenery of this neighboring country’s city. More importantly, when he got away from the busy mode of filming and learning, he had to face the problems he had been deliberately ignoring before.

Lin Zixi knew that it was very shameful of him to escape, and he also understood thoroughly that the matter between him and his dad had to be resolved sooner or later.

But once he thought of the undercurrent and raging waves between him and Gu Zecheng, Lin Zixi could not help feeling that he should have just accepted the plane ticket to country A, being exiled to a foreign land and never coming back for the rest of his life, when Gu Zecheng first asked him to choose.

It was not only because of what had happened to him and Gu Zecheng on that confusing night, but also because in the two days before he joined the movie crew, he figured out something more unacceptable than having a relationship with his own dad.

Apparently, he liked Gu Zecheng.

At first, it was indeed a child’s affection for his father.

But now, his liking had long metamorphosed into the kind of liking towards a lover.

Maybe it happened when he was rescued by Gu Zecheng while he was injured and waiting to die, or when Gu Zecheng came to visit him every day while he was recuperating in hospital, or when he and Gu Zecheng lived together day and night. Or maybe it was just a certain moment when Gu Zecheng lit a cigarette, smiled, and flicked his forehead lightly….

In the bottom of Lin Zixi's lonely and lifeless heart, a bud that the world could not tolerate sprouted, and a flower that no one would appreciate bloomed.

That was why he turned a blind eye to Gu Zecheng's intimacy, which  overstepped the bounds further with each passing day, and invented some reason of ‘father-son love’ to deceive himself for the turbulent undercurrent between the two of them.

But which son with true father-son love would lust after his father, and which father with true father-son love would flirt with his son?!

When this layer of familial love was torn off, all Lin Zixi could see was the filthy father and son incest.

No, it was only him who was filthy.

Gu Zecheng, who did not know that he had a son from start to finish, was innocent.

If he had been honest with Gu Zecheng at any moment beforehand, they would not have come this far.

Gu Zecheng was totally pulled into the abyss by him.

Lin Zixi could not be sure and did not even dare to think whether his father, who was able to create him with his mother, was turned gay by him.

With every extra thought on this matter, a layer of sin was added to him.

After Lin Zixi left the crew, he went to a nearby city in L country. Instead of going around sightseeing, he locked himself in a hotel room, took a long bath, and smoked on the balcony for one night.

In the early morning, Lin Zixi sat in front of an ashtray full of cigarette butts watching the sunrise and finally made up his mind.

He used his laptop to buy plane tickets for himself and Assistant Zhang to B City tomorrow. At the same time, he also bought another ticket that departed from B City the next night, and the destination was the capital of Country Y.

"If I announce my retirement from the entertainment circle during the agreed magazine interview, the company and Sister Chen would be mad, right?" Lin Zixi ground his last cigarette into the ashtray to extinguish it and got up from the rattan chair where he sat all night. He stretched his waist and said to himself, "But I can't control that much anymore."

He could neither resort to telling the truth, nor find any other excuse to reject Gu Zecheng, let alone ignore his guilt, close his eyes, and be together with him.

Then all he could do was stay away from the whirlpool, avoiding it to the end during his time on earth.

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